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He brought them
"Yahweh brought those in prison"
darkness and gloom
Both "darkness" and "gloom" have basically the same meaning and are used to emphasize how dark the prison was. See how you translated this in Psalms 107:10. AT: "complete darkness" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-doublet)
Oh that people would praise Yahweh for his covenant faithfulness
Here the word "Oh" is used to convey a strong desire for people to praise Yahweh. The abstract noun "faithfulness" can be translated with an adjective. See how you translated this in Psalms 107:8. AT: "Let people praise Yahweh because he is faithful to his covenant" or "People should praise Yahweh because he is faithful to his covenant" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-exclamations and rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-abstractnouns)
For he
"because he"
For he has broken the gates of bronze and cut through the bars of iron
Both of these phrases describe Yahweh freeing his people from prison and are used to emphasize that Yahweh truly freed them. AT: "He freed his people from prison" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-parallelism and rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-explicit)