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General Information:
Yahweh and Jeremiah continue talking about the people of Judah.
If only my head could produce water, and my eyes be a fountain of tears
This is Jeremiah speaking. These two phrases mean the same thing and emphasize how much Jeremiah is weeping. Alternate translation: "I wish I could make more tears" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-parallelism and rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metaphor)
day and night
By mentioning both "day" and "night" this phrase means all the time. Alternate translation: "all the time" or "continually" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-merism)
the daughter of my people
Yahweh shows his love for his people by speaking of them as a daughter. Here Jeremiah uses this same phrase for the people that Yahweh uses. See how you translated this in Jeremiah 4:11. Alternate translation: "my people, who are like Yahweh's daughter" or "my dear people" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metaphor)
who have been killed
This can be stated in active form. Alternate translation: "whom the enemy has killed" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-activepassive)