See in Reader
[All these are suggestions only. Question marks indicate greater tentativeness. Comments phrased as a questions are legitimate questions, not statements.]
Chapter 1
v.1 –– consider "And it happened after the death of Saul and David had returned from attacking the Amalekites that David remained in Ziklag two days." v.2 –– suggest "…from the camp, from with Saul, and his clothes…" v.3 –– "are you coming" instead of "did you come" (yiqtol verb indicates simple present rather than action in past time) v.3 –– "And he said to him" instead of "And he answered him" v.3 –– suggest "I escaped" instead of "I have escaped" (qatal verb probably indicates simple past rather than present perfect) v.4 –– "What is the matter?" instead of "What happened?" (also check alignment) v.4 –– consider "Tell to me please!" or "Now tell to me." instead of "Please tell me." v.4 –– "And he said" instead of "And He answered" v.4 –– is the man's speech direct speech ("And he said, 'That…'") or indirect speech ("And he said that…")? Either way the relative particle needs to be rendered somehow. v.5 –– "the young man, the one who was reporting to him," instead of "the young man who was reporting to him" (in order to render the definite article on the participle) v.7 –– "behind him" instead of "around" v.7 –– end sentence at the 'atnah, then begin new sentence: "And he called out…" v.7 –– "and I said" instead of "and I answered" (the verb "answered" requires ענה instead of אמר) v.7 –– "Behold me" instead of "Here I am" ("Here I am" is OK for UST but not ULT) v.8 –– "And I said to him," instead of "I answered him," v.8 –– check alignment ["I" = אנכי, "am an Amalekite" = עמלקי"] v.9 –– "And he said" instead of "He said" v.9 –– perhaps "Now" instead of "Please"??? v.9 –– suggest "anguish" or "agony" instead of "great suffering" (a OrigL noun should equal an English noun if possible, not an adjective plus noun) v.9 –– recommend "has grasped me" instead of "has taken hold of me"??? v.9 –– see Zulip discussion concerning כִּי־כָל־עוֹד v.10 –– suggest "his falling" or "his fall" instead of "he had fallen" (infinitive is nominal object of the preposition, not a finite verb here) v.10 –– "And I took" instead of "Then I took" v.10 –– "was" should be aligned with "on" instead of with "that" (x2) v.10 –– "and I brought them" instead of "and brought them" v.10 –– "my lord" instead of "my master" ("master" would be better for בַּעַל as a common noun) v.10 –– omit "you" toward the end of the verse v.11 –– "And" instead of "Then" v.11 –– recommend "seized" instead of "took hold" (this verb is different than the verb in v.9) v.11 –– omit "did the same" v.11 –– align "were" with "with" instead of "who" v.12 –– "the evening" instead of "evening" v.12 –– "on account of"??? (I'm skeptical of the causative sense of עַל here, but I might be persuaded. Probably "wept for" is better, or perhaps "wept over", although this latter might suggest too close of physical proximity for the use here. See what you think.) v.12 –– "people" or "army"??? (see earlier/later uses in the chapter for context) v.13 –– ", the one who was reporting to him" instead of "who was reporting to him" v.13 –– align "are" with "from" and not "you" v.13 –– "And he said" instead of "He answered" v.13 –– "a son of a man, a foreigner, an Amalekite" instead of "the son of a foreigner in the land, an Amalekite" v.14 –– "And" instead of "Then" v.14 –– "How" instead of "Why" v.14 –– perhaps "the anointed of Yahweh" or "the anointed one of Yahweh" instead of "Yahweh's anointed one" v.15 –– suggest "called out" instead of "called"? v.15 –– recommend "Come near, fall upon him" instead of "Come near and kill him" v.15 –– recommend "And he struck him, and he died" instead of "So that young man struck him down, and he died" (UST will clarify the actors) v.16 –– "And" instead of "Then" v.16 –– align "is" with "on" instead of with "Your blood" v.16 –– omit "own" v.16 –– "saying" instead of "and said" v.16 –– "I myself killed" instead "I have killed" (qatal is simple past here; also, align "myself" with אנכי and "I killed" with the verb) v.16 –– suggest "the anointed of Yahweh" or "the anointed one of Yahweh" instead of "Yahweh's anointed one" v.17 –– "And" instead of "Then" v.17 –– is the sense of עַל here the same or different from v.12? v.18 –– "And he said" instead of "And he commanded that" v.18 –– suggest "to teach" instead of "be taught", but we need to talk about the use of the Piel stem here v.18 –– recommend simply "bow" instead of "Song of the Bow" (again, the UST is free to clarify) v.18 –– check alignment v.19 –– align "of" with "The beauty" instead of "Israel" v.20 –– align "Do" with "tell" instead of "not" v.20 –– omit "it" (x2) [unless you feel like the English is absolutely not understandable without it] v.20 –– align "do" with "announce" instead of "not" v.21 –– let's discuss this verse over Zoom v.24 –– is the sense of אֶל here the same or different from the sense of עַל in v.17? in v.12? v.24-27 –– let's discuss these verses as well
Chapter 2
v.1 –– let's discuss whether ULT should read "of Yahweh" or simply "Yahweh" (depends on verb + preposition combination) v.1 –– make translation of עלה consistent, "go up" v.2 –– suggest "also" instead of "with" for גם v.3 –– align "were" with "with" instead of with relative particle v.3 –– suggest "a man and his house" instead of "each man with his household" v.3 –– suggest sentence break at the 'atnah v.4 –– isn't the direct speech a complete sentence? perhaps should include a to be verb somewhere? v.5 –– "And" instead of "So" (not enough contextual evidence to deviate) v.5 –– "and he said" instead of "an said" (ULT needs to render the pronominal subject) v.5 –– is the relative particle indicating reason ("because") or person ("who/whom")? v.5 –– suggest "lord" instead of "master" (master is closer to בעל) v.5 –– unmerge "with" and "Saul" v.5 –– include pronominal subject of the verb "and you buried" v.5 –– make "did" and "have buried" consistent, either both simple past or both present perfect v.6 –– why "to you" instead of "with you"? v.6 –– suggest "I myself will do" v.6 –– why "for you" instead of "with you"? v.6 –– is the relative particle indicating reason ("because") or person ("who/whom")? v.7 –– why "So" instead of "And" to start the verse? v.7 –– same as v.5 above for "master" v.7 –– make consistent "as king" in v.4 and "for king" in v.7 v.8 –– "the son of Ner" and so on for the rest of the chapter, "the son of Saul", etc. v.8 –– "army that belonged to Saul" instead of "Sauls's army", align accordingly v.9 –– consult with Aaron V about "Gilead" or "the Gilead", make consistent throughout 1-2 Sam v.9 –– suggest "the Ashurite" instead of "the Ashurites" to reflect singular form v.10 –– "a son of 40 years" instead of "forty years old" v.10 –– "when he reigned" instead of "when he began to reign" (infinitive does not include sense of beginning of the action) v.10 –– is אךְ really contrastive here? perhaps restrictive ("Only") is a better choice? v.13 –– "and they met them" instead of "and met them" v.13 –– separate sentence at the 'atnah v.13 –– the word "together" describes the verb "met" not the verb "sat down" (see placement of 'atnah) v.14 –– "and let them compete" instead of "and compete" (to retain jussive meaning of yiqtol form) v.14 –– "before our face" instead of "before us" (the noun should be rendered) v.15 –– perhaps "And" instead of "Then"? v.15 –– "and for Ishbosheth" instead of "and Ishbosheth" v.16 –– let's discuss the distributive phrases here